Hooray! Another birthday…

One full month or four long weeks has amazingly passed us by! And the
big girl is celebrating by snoozing in her bouncy seat. In fact, she
has been there since about 12:30, when Kara sat her down to eat lunch.

We enjoyed Kara’s visit immensley. I had not eaten at Teaism in at
least a month. Plus Kara said Lucy was intently watching me as I
talked to Kara. Maybe I’m not talking to her enough. But I do talk to
her all of the time.

Kara definitely lifted our spirits. A couple of weeks ago, Pat, my
lactation consultant, told me that people often want to quit trying to
breast feed at week four. She must know something, because last night
I was feeling quite optimistic. I even stayed up late and returned two-
week old emails. I read a short story by David Sedaris. I turned out
the light and told Henry I thought we had turned a corner. Little did
I know, I had jinxed myself with my previous blog entry.

Henry woke up at 2:15. I was up again at 3. Instead of trying to pump,
I opted to sleep with Lucy on the couch. I put her to bed around 6 and
then woke up again around 7 to nap with me for a few more hours. I
spent the nine o’clock hour trying to breastfeed her unsuccessfully.
What’s that old saying? You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t
make her drink. Nope, and she was furious. So we spent the next couple
of hours bottle feeding in her typical snack and snooze method.
Instead of eating a meal and being satisfied for a few hours, she
snacks for those same hours holding you hostage. At least with bottle
feeding, you aren’t topless that entire time.

Which is why I completely started sobbing on the phone when I called a
specialist and she said the first available appointment was in August.
Fortunately I was transferred to another assistant who promised that
she would try to get me in immediately.

So the bouncy seat has been today’s savior. Although I have to bounce
it for her because she is too small. But I figured out that I can
place her next to me on the couch if I remove half of the cushions.
And with the aid of the nursing stool Rosslyn brought by yesterday, I
am at least in a somewhat reclined position. My posture still sucks,
but at least my shoulders aren’t parallel to the floor for a majority
of the day. If she hadn’t made it this long, we were taking an
afternoon trip to Target to purchase a foldable swing for her
birthday. I need some battery-powered assistance.

So the reality is the house is a wreck. My plants need to be watered,
mail needs to be opened, trash emptied, little bottles and pump
accessories need to be washed twice a day, bed made, carpet vacuumed,
bathroom cleaned. And I would love to have her clothes organized by
size. I found a sweet newborn gown beneath a pair of 9 month old pants
in the accessory drawer. I imagine that by the time I get to organize
her clothes, she will have outgrown a lot of them. Baby, if you had
only waited one more day, I would have folded your laundry and put it
all away.

Not to mention in four weeks, I’ve only uploaded photos from my camera
to the Internet once and written in her baby journal the same number
of times. But I have managed to leave the house by myself once and
read one short story and most importantly lost one pumping session
beginning yesterday.

I also had a museum call me yesterday to ask me to come in and show my
work for a potential exhibit! How exciting! If I can manage to pull my
stuff together. I never updated my site in preparation for last
weekend’s Hybrid Book Show. But someone was interested in buying a
piece, which is also exciting!

It’s almost like God is saying this sucks, but I’m pulling some
strings for you. The same thing happened during my birth when we found
a renter with a multi-year lease soon after I learned I was completely
dialated and it was too late for an epidural. Plus I had several
friends I hadn’t talked to in months, call me and email me from out of
the blue. That was one of my favorite holy moments that I completely
forgot to include in that blog entry.

Granted I already have two art project ideas from this little one. So
I guess she is good source material. But now it is time for her to get
to work and learn how to eat. I have worked super hard 24 hours a day
since her first lactation consultation the Friday before Memorial Day.
Now it’s time for her to do the same. She has one week until her
abuelos arrive next week. Let’s make this a pleasant first visit.

Mommy’s Wish List at Week Four
1. Never run out of milk and Carnation Instant Breakfasts
2. Always have clean bottles and pump accessories and never have to
wash another one
3. A clean house
4. Only have to pump four times a day
5. Sweets
6. To stop craving sweets (I never wanted them while I was pregnant!)
7. Lucy will successfully breastfeed so that we can be away from the
pump for more than four hours/More trips out and about
8. Even if she can’t breastfeed, she will learn how to eat a full meal
without getting winded or choked and be satisfied for a few hours
9. A new 13" laptop, just because my laptop has less than 4 GBs of
memory and I can never make it across the room to my iMac, which no
longer opens any Word documents
10. A new iPhone – Let’s face it, my pictures aren’t great and we need
to post some videos to the blog
11. Someone to transfer all of my photos to the Internet and back up
my computers so I don’t lose anything
12. Some studio time