40 is the new 50

To say that we were all shocked by my dad’s anniversary surprises is an understatement. I repeatedly told Jill in church on Sunday morning that my curiosity was about to get the best of me. And my dad certainly lived up to the elusive mystery that he created.

It all began a few weeks ago when I looked up the traditional anniversary gift on night while talking to my dad. I told him it was a ruby and reminded him that this was a big year. I don’t know what he had in mind at that point, or how far he had gotten with his plans. He said that was a good idea and that he thought we would go to lunch with our family after church, which we do every Sunday.

For a little background, I am sure that my interest in traditions and our family is my way of processing all of the love of history oozing from my father’s genes. In this battle, my mother’s dislike of history won. I know absolutely nothing about the Civil War, which I have decided was my form of rebellion as the first born child. We visited numerous Civil War battlefields and graveyards as part of our family vacations, which began as early as my parents’ honeymoon. I wonder what was going through my mother’s mind when they made a quick stop at a historical site on their way to Atlanta after the wedding. These interests are often the focus of his creative flow of ideas.

Most of the creativity I have, I can attribute to my father. He is full of ideas, which spill forth effortlessly. He is constantly sharing projects with me that he wants to create – a map of all of the homeowners in Germanton, a popscicle family tree, on and on. I often find various stages of projects when I visit their house. I also see my mother’s beautiful handwriting sprinkled throughout in odd places. I can just imagine Daddy standing behind her as he dictates what he wants written where. This is their life – he dictates his ideas and she completes the project. Not only are they celebrating forty years of marriage, but thirty years of working together in his law practice.

Fortunately for me, I inherited the love of order and the ability to complete my own ideas from my mother. Although this has taken years of practice and discipline. I do have several memories of my mother’s crafty creations from my childhood, along with artifacts found throughout our house. But those projects stopped long ago, as she began to dedicate more hours of service to the office and our family (and beyond). Unlike my mother, Henry hates being told what to do, even if it is something simple. Maybe that is what my neighbor meant by a sarcastic “I bet that is fun,” after I told her that we were an Aries and a Taurus. The most simple things feel like butting heads. Every once in a while we create a joint creative project, which always makes my heart leap.

When Henry asked my dad for my hand in marriage, my dad began the conversation for Henry and provided these thoughtful words of advice that he maybe understood a little too well. “Caroline has always done exactly what she wants to do.” Henry likes to use this quote at least once a week. What my dad forgot to tell him is that life is a lot easier if you do what she wants to do, as well. This is the same advice that my mom shared with Ryan last Saturday when he asked how she had managed being married for forty years. She had great pleasure in saying that she had another day until she was married forty years. And she always did everything he wanted to do.

So it was not all of the ideas and thoughtfulness that my dad put into the day that was so shocking. It was the fact that he carried everything out all by himself. And they had nothing to do with one of his historical interests. We all thought that he had given up on buying her presents a few years ago when she returned one too many beige outfits. But all of that was behind him and we all witnessed a side of my dad I had never seen before. Each moment was timed perfectly. He skipped Sunday School, yet continued to study his lesson like every other week without giving away any of the surprises. How did he not spill the beans? To anyone? Was there anyone in on the secret?

In telling this story to others, it went too fast – beginning with the surprise four dozen roses at church and ending with the promise of a CD recording that night at Karen’s. I heard Karen say that she made notes of all of the events from the day on her way home. She was afraid that she would forget something. Fortunately, at my father’s request, I thoroughly documented the day. He reminded me several times to bring my camera to church. He also made sure that I get in the limo last so that I could take pictures. And he even told me to get up and take pictures of the house during our lunch. Dad seems quite pleased because he called me this morning saying that I captured everything, which was the perfect ending to the event.

So there are a lot of pictures and they do a great job of sharing the entire story without any true narration. Much better than what I can convey to others over the phone.

Jerry and Yvonne’s 40th Anniversary Slide Show

But if you would like more details, following is a recap that I emailed to Henry, who is in Jordan.

First I was showering for church and I heard this sawing noise. I peeked downstairs and I saw that Daddy was cutting the stems off of these red roses. I said his name and he came around the corner. He told me to hurry up and get to church, make sure I bring my camera and don’t expect to return home after church.

At the end of the evening, I went out to move my car and missed the final gift. He announced that he had one more gift for mom. He has arranged for her to record a CD. He tried to line something up at a recording studio and even talked to someone at Shannock’s in King. But he then realized that they can do it with the new equipment at the church. Bo said that she was smiling and just started sliding into Karen’s bedroom.

As we agreed in the limo, forty is the new fifty. Why wait to celebrate an anniversary when you can’t really get in and out of a limo or whatever your mode of transportation. Have fun and celebrate your life together now.