Bird’s Eye View

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I emailed this picture to Sherri last year at 3:06 pm. One year ago today. This is a little bit of our conversation. Who knew what five in the morning would bring. Clearly, I did not. I was a little bit caught off guard.

Sherri: Wow. Just wow.

Me: I feel like wow. Was that a song?

S: Um, I Feel Like a Woman is… 😉

Me: I definitely feel like that. I couldn’t wait for Oprah, which is when I let myself get on the couch. But I’m doing a little online shopping for Alex. I’m good at that. It just sucks to sit up or get up or move.

Me (a little later on): I just looked at this on the computer. Her butt is on my left (top) and feet on the right (bottom). That is why I look so lopsided. I go to the doctor tomorrow at 3. I have been doing tons of laundry today. I think that the nursery is 95% set up. Just need to hang a couple of pictures and screw in the changing table pad so she won’t hurl her body off into the floor.

In the top of the picture is the manual for a little iPod player for Lucy’s room. I finally settled on that after countless hours debating over what kind of sound this baby might need. One with lights, one in the crib, one that might die after six months of play?

I finally settled on just getting a speaker for an old iPod of mine and downloading some ocean music. I found this player at Target on my massive last outing that Tuesday. I went to Potomac Mills (Ikea, Babies R Us, Target) and was there all day. I must have had that final burst of energy. But I was feeling it by the time we went to Oyamel for Khoa’s birthday. Those stools are the most uncomfortable thing I had ever sat on. Or I could have been dialating. Who knows. But I left the group early. Later Henry brought everyone back to our place to check out the nursery.

So a year ago, today, on Wednesday, I spent the day setting up all of my new treasures in her nursery. I set up her changing table, washed all of her baby clothes and linens, and talked to Kim for about an hour about nothing. Just waiting. I settled down to write Sherri the above email around 3.

Later I had a pastoral relations committee meeting at church. I moved my car out of the garage, which Carol had graciously let me borrow for my last shopping outing. I decided to drive to church, leave the car after the meeting and move it the next day. The Caps were in the finals and it was nuts outside. I thought I would die walking from the parking garage just to the place of the meeting in the church. Leah told me later that she didn’t want to mention that I looked miserable.

Our meeting was about Amy’s pending sabbatical. Our leader asked what we were afraid of. I volunteered to go first. I was afraid that Amy would be gone before I had my baby. Nothing about the church. Just purely personal. I shifted in my seat as she worked to ease our fears. I waddled home.

I can’t remember much else about the evening. I must have been in labor for several days. I was certain that I was having contractions the Tuesday one week before. But I decided to take a nap instead. Looking back at my journal, I have an entry from 3:31 on Monday morning. It reads:

I am pretty certain that I am having contractions. I could be wrong, but I don’t think so.

I am not really sleeping. Just laying there. I guess I am trying to figure out what is going on. A car alarm went off a little while ago.

Tonight I spent a great deal of time in the nursery. I especially worked on the bookshelf and unpacking blankets, etc. I guess that I need to do lots and lots of laundry at this point. I also have more laundry coming from Eris.

We had our final shower on Saturday. It was a huge relief. I received gifts from several different areas of my list. So I am really pleased about that. I have the bath tub and the hooks for my stroller. It even fits in the closet. So I am thrilled about that. What a relief.

I am starting to put items in their place. I need to do the bathroom next and then I should be ready. I still need to pack for the hospital.

So… I guess I am not really ready, but I am. I don’t know how to make myself relax more. I really have to figure that out. Plus I think I could be hungry. Just what exactly is going on here.

And I began to repeat myself from there. It is 3 am.

Wow! What a difference a year makes. I can actually ignore Lucy while she plays around my feet with the kitty she tore out of her favorite book. But not for too long. I am mainly thankful about how good it feels to walk pushing a stroller versus having her inside of me.

Little one! You are 52 weeks today! Tomorrow is your big day.

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