20 Weeks Down
Today marks my 20th week. That means this little pregnancy journey is half way over technically, give or take when this babe wants to enter the world. So far so good. Other than a cold I caught over Christmas, I really haven’t been sick. Except the day I switched my vitamins and almost threw up in the shower. But I managed to make it to a rice krispie treat in time to tide me over until I had finished cleaning my body.
Sarah sent me this great blog entry from the New York Times about why people try to scare mothers to be. I don’t know that people have really tried to scare me. But I have had at least three people tell me in the last month that motherhood was way better than they ever expected it to be. I had every intention of posting this incredibly sweet video of Silas cooing at Taylor. She is one of the mothers who reassured me. And Kimberly with baby Theo. And my most recent new-mom friend, Lauren with baby Ziggy. Check out these reassuring words from Lauren: “You are really going to love being a mom, Caroline. I love it and you know how freaked out I was.”
So at the beginning of the half way point, I must admit that I am going into this without any major expectations. I have found that I have to take things one step at a time. There is a reason you are pregnant for nine months. Way before I got pregnant, when pregnancy was just a vague idea, I thought that I would be anxious and not able to wait for nine months. But that’s simply not the case. I am going to need most of these months to prepare physically and mentally.
One weekend, everyone I met was talking about what they had learned from a certain book. Mid-way through a party, I had to sequester myself from any new parents. When smart people have babies, they read lots of books. I had not even bought a book yet. And I think that I was around 10-12 weeks pregnant. (Okay, I had checked out two from the library.) I have warmed up to the ideas of books. I have a few that I flip through and a couple of others on my shelf that I am saving for March, a little closer to my June 4th due date. I can finally look at the birthing sections, but I am in my fifth month. I haven’t even considered reading any kind of parenting books yet. Whew!
Over Christmas, we went to a Babies R Us. I walked down most of the aisles to check out all of THE STUFF. I left completely overwhelmed, again, knowing good and well that I do not want all of that plastic crap in my 1005 square foot apartment with no access to storage. Three weeks later, I was able to walk through the baby section of Target without breaking into hives. I have a strategy – borrow all I can. That way I have to give it back once the baby outgrows it. Otherwise, stay true to my life motto to be light. If I can fold it flat or it is small, I will consider it. If I am not 100% sold, then I can’t buy it or don’t want it. This attitude has spilled over into the rest of my life. It’s like pregnancy has created a self-induced spending freeze. But this will prove to be a challenge when you consider the baby showers. I am sure there will be another blog entry about that.
But here I am at 20 weeks and I am getting ready. Last week I went to the physical therapist for my scoliosis and received some pregnancy targeted exercises for my back. And I HAVE been doing them. Today I bought the Baby Bargains book. And, yes, I have that nesting urge to clean out everything in this apartment and get ready for a baby. I think that this phase could be Henry’s favorite part pre-baby.
But I think that my greatest sign of hope was a blog entry from Amy about adolescence, a thought I only have if I really want to torture myself. Sounds like things are going well for Amy so far. That’s a relief.
What I’ve come to learn through my almost 8 years of being a parent is that everyone’s experience is a little bit different! There will be really hard days and there will be easy days. There will be days that you are so happy you just couldn’t imagine life any other way, and then there will be days that you will want to scream your head off. Remember that nothing in life worth having comes easy. Being a parent is A LOT of work and responsibility and above all selflessness. BUT it is the most rewarding adventure I’ve ever taken, and I’d have it no other way.
Everyone likes to give advice. I’m guilty myself. I think it’s because you think you can actually help someone by providing them with information you wish you had known. Again, though, every child and every parent is different!
You’ll make an unbelievable mother! Just trust your instincts, and it will all fall in to place…pinky swear!